The Moon Tonight

"May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night and smooth road all the way to your door." ~Irish blessing

Gratitude

My husband got a job today. Today, on the last day of his severance pay. He starts Monday.

Thank you for all the love and support - here and in all areas of our life.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Why Be Grateful?

A quick glimpse at my life right now can easily lead anyone to believe that there is not much to be grateful for.

My husband was laid off earlier this year and his severance (and benefits) are over this week. My brother has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The doctors speculate that he could be gone in the next 2 to 8 months.

I'm living in a land mine of questions that are currently unanswerable. Is that job going to pan out? Will we be able to stay here in Eugene? If not, where will we go? How long does my brother really have? Should I go to Tennesse now or wait till he comes back to California with my mom? And of course, the always popular why and what if? So...why be grateful?

I was very lucky to just complete a 40 day gratitude program called Gratitude Groove with my dear and beautiful friend, Kristin. We spoke on the phone every day and talked through daily exercises together. I realized that I can be grateful - no matter what.

My brother may not live past 6 months - but I am grateful to know this now so that I can spend as much time as possible with him and make sure he knows how much he is loved. It also helps me remember that we really don't know how much time anyone has left - and we shouldn't waste a single second of it - the time to love yourself and love your friends and family is NOW. And love everyone else too.

Malcolm's job situation is not optimal but we are better off than a lot of people - around the world and here in America. We won't go to bed hungry or cold. We also have each other.

It's not always easy. I want to talk myself out of it - I should be sad, I should be scared, I should be sick with worry.

I took a break from the sadness, worry and fear and we went to the Saturday Market yesterday.

Malcolm bought this bouquet for me.

I got some beets that I am going to roast with olive oil and sea salt.

Our friend, Brent showed up and made me laugh.














We saw Get Smart at the dollar theatre and laughed some more.

I realized that the sadness, worry and fear will always be there. I am grateful for what they can teach me. I am grateful for knowing that I can choose to set them aside.

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." ~ Buddha

Church of the Painted Rocks

We live in a new development and there are lots of these rocks around. I've been painting them and leaving them in our neighbors' gardens. I completely stole this idea from the DancingMermaid.

It feels really good to do this and I also get a little scared. I feel sneaky as I plant one of these among their flowers or on their porch.*

Today, just as I was about to put one down, the neighbor's front door swung open. I held it out to her and said, "you caught me - I was leaving you a rock." She said, "you must be a Christian." And I blurted out "No." And then I was stammering, "well, I am, I guess, I don't know." And she asked me what church I go to.

*

"Um, I don't go to church - I just leave these rocks." :)

Say Anything

I first saw Say Anything at the Valley View Twin Cinema in Cypress in 1989. I had just turned 20 and had been engaged for a little over a year. My fiancee refused to see this movie so I went alone. By choice, man. Conscious choice.

I left the theater so in love with this movie and pining for a Lloyd Dobler of my very own (sorry, Jake Ryan).

Things happened like they happened ... married at 22, divorced at 23 and while still pining for Lloyd Dobler, I met Malcolm at age 27.

On our first date, we spent hours doing the "me toos!" -- you love Calvin & Hobbes? Me too! Usual Suspects! Princess Bride! I swooned when I found out that he was also looking for a dare to be great situation.

We ended up back at my house and watched Say Anything till 4 in the morning - and yeah, we made out a little [a lot].

I don't know why, but I was thinking about us and our Say Anything connection this evening - maybe because our first date happened 12 years ago on August 16th. Whatever the reason, I realized that I had used Say Anything as a kind of test. If I wasn't going to find a dude to hold up a boom box for me, I at least wanted one who liked the movie.

And 12 years later? Lloyd Dobler, eat your heart out. I'm only pining for Malcolm now.

Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper

SARK's newest book, Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper: Gifting the World with Your Words and Stories and Creating the Time and Energy to Actually DO It is available today. [insert confetti and noise makers here - YIPEE!]

I had the pleasure of being in one of SARK's Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper workshops at Celebrate Your Life in 2005. It was an amazing workshop and I am so glad she wrote the book. I highly recommend both the book ~ and her workshops (I'm intending on the Big Sur workshop in November - at the Henry Miller Library! - yum!). I'd also love to get to one of the book tour events. That's right, I'm a groupie for SARK! :)

One thing I really like about Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper is, while it's the perfect book for someone who wants to write a book, it's not just a book full of "tips". In fact, "this book is for anyone who wants to write and share what's in their heart." It's full of games and exercises but also, as always, SARK shares herself throughout the book and you see yourself in her brave sharing. I especially love the story of her parents meeting and a peek at "how SARK books are made".

As SARK says, "write and share what's in your heart" ~ and I say, do it in whatever form inspires you - blogging, poetry, journals, books, rocks, etc. Just write!

Happiness

is a 9 year old neighbor who sidewalk chalks your driveway.