Letting Go of Perfection

I'm going to Hawaii in a couple of weeks and I asked my husband (aka Shmoopie) this morning: "do you think if I planned it and made a conscious choice, it would be okay to have ONE shave ice in Hawaii?"

He basically told me that this weight loss journey is more about creating new habits - and in the past, I wouldn't plan, or think or make any kind of conscious choice. I would just eat whatever the hell I wanted, whenever I wanted.

This sounds simple. It is. But not easy.

Not for a perfectionist like me. BUT - this perfectionism is part of what got me here (m.o.) in the first place. I would think: "well, I can't do all that perfect {eat only healthy foods 100% of the time, exercise for whatever time/length "they" tell you to, etc. etc. etc.} so I just won't do ANY of it."

And I didn't. AND not only did I not do ANY of it, but it was all so overwhelming and god damned depressing that I just ate and ate and ate more.

And now, I'm doing the very best I can do, and planning ahead and making choices and getting that this is for life - not till I get to whatever weight and then back to the old ways. AND I'm getting that I can be healthy, make healthy choices and have a shave ice in Hawaii. I won't be beating myself up about it.

I'll be eating it while wearing my new bathing suit top that I had to buy because my old one was falling off - and my much looser than last summer swim shorts. :)

Aloha!

Deprivation

I went to a class at Metabolic Research Center called "Making New Year's Resolutions that Work".

One of the points in a 10 point approach is "ditch the deprivation perception". The idea being to look at this diet plan as a lifestyle change, a choice, a commitment to yourself and my health.

Sitting there, I had an A-HA moment. I was thinking, "yeah, I'm committed but I am depriving myself of chocolate, tacos and what-not". BUT - I could have those things and then be depriving myself of being thin, healthier, wearing cute clothes, going on beach vacations unselfconsciously, etc. So either way, there's "deprivation" going on. It's just a matter of which one I want to live more without (or with).