Cure~All

I completely agree with Anne Lamott as quoted in my blog banner - and it's where I got the name for my blog - “…the secret to life is obvious: be here now, love as if your whole life depended on it, find your life’s work, and try to get hold of a giant panda. If you had a giant panda in your backyard, anything could go wrong -- someone could die, or stop loving you, or you could get sick – and if you could look outside and see this adorable, ridiculous, boffo panda, you’d start to laugh; you’d be so filled with thankfulness and amusement that everything would be o.k. again.”

A panda is a total cure-all.

And that's why I had to have this purse which arrived in the nick of time. ;)
















It also helps to have friends who are willing to do this with your new panda purse...















I love the Candace. :)

Explosion of Sadness

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angel at the foot of the dogwood tree

planted in memory of my brother Michael

November 2008, Tennessee

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"You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent their making a nest in your hair”

~ Chinese proverb

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I haven't wanted to feel it.

So I push it down.

down

down

down

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Packing it tight.

Ignoring, pretending, nodding.

Holding it

tight.

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It all came pouring out yesterday.

All.of.it.

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I discovered that I think that it's not okay to be sad. And it's especially not okay to share your sadness (your sorrow, your out-right grief) with others. If someone asks you "how are you?", the only safe answer is "fine". Especially for me. I'm the funny one, the fun one, the one who makes you shoot your drink out of your nose with laughter.

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But all that faking just leads me deeper down the hole. I managed to throw out a rope and my husband and my Julie were there to pull me out. To help me untangle the nest.

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The next time you ask me how I am, you may just hear the truth.

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And you still shouldn't drink liquids around me. ;)

Freeze Frame

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"In 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked." ~ Mary Schmich

I saw a picture of myself the other day and started picking it apart. "I'm too this; I'm not enough that." Then I remembered the event and how much fun it was, who was there, how hard I laughed. How happy I was.

From now on, I'm practicing focusing on the fun, the love and the laughter and not what my hair looked like or how squinty my eyes get when I smile.

Because in the end, it's the love we give and receive that matters. Not what we looked like while doing ~ and being ~ the love.

Courage

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." ~Mary Anne Radmacher

And sometimes courage is dressing up like a crazy cat lady for your friend's skate party because the evite said to dress "silly".

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Isn't that right, Dr. Horrible?