No More Excuses

This hit me today, while talking to my dear, dear Kristin - that maybe one of the reasons it took me this long to go on this weight loss journey is that once I did this, there'd be no more room for any kind of excuses.

I wouldn't be able to say, "I can't" or "it's impossible".

Because I'm doing the "impossible" right now.

Dammit! Why didn't I think of this sooner!! :)

Confidence

Here's my face at officially 30 lbs. less than it was on Nov 21, 2011.

I'm trying to not say: "but I have so much more to lose".


I've lost 30 lbs. in 2 months!! I am SO doing this!!

I don't know if people are noticing...I haven't heard much in that arena. But I am seeing some differences - in my face, loser clothes, loser rings, etc.

One of the biggest differences though is my confidence - or lack of self-consciousness.

I'm still overweight, still want to lose over 100 lbs - but I feel GOOD. I know it's because even though I weigh xxx lbs right now, the feeling of hopelessness is gone. I'm in action.

I'm confident.

Suck on that, shame. ;)

Shame

Been turning this one over and over - I really didn't want to share about my weight loss journey because in the past, when I'd share, and then fail, I would feel so much shame. To have to tell people or answer questions or have people see me gaining it back or to stop trying.

It's scary.

This is coming up right now because I went for an opportunity that I really wanted and it didn't work out and I find myself wishing that I just hadn't shared it with anyone so I don't have to now share that I didn't get it.

More on this soon(er or later).

Like I said, it's scary.

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMb-AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So I did an hour of zumba with my JoJo on Monday night. I SO did not want to go. And 10 minutes in, I was thinking, no way. I can't do this. My arms are already killing me.

Then an hour later, I had did the whole hour and am going back for more twice a week!

At some point, I just told myself that I was going to do it - to keep going. I modified it some (as the instructor instructed that she was going to bounce off the walls and we shouldn't feel like we needed to keep up with her supreme bouncey level of zumba).

So yeah, at some points, I was just doing the African Anteater Ritual but it worked my shit over and I did it.

I am doing it. ;)

Out Loud

I said it out loud to people last night.

I've lost 22.5 lbs. in 7 weeks.

Then I immediately said, "but I've still got, like 200 lbs. to go".

Which isn't true (but I'm not ready to discuss numbers yet).

Why can't I just celebrate the accomplishment and not undermine with a second statement like that?

Because it's true. And sometimes it feels unsurmountable.

And there you go.

Ch-Ch-Changes

Time to pat myself on the back as week 7 comes to a close.

I'm down 22.5 lbs. and 45.25 inches on last check (last checked 2 weeks ago and I get that checked again this week, I think).

In 49 days, I haven't had sugar, fast food, diet soda (or any other soda), caffeine, or alcohol and very, very little salt/sodium. I also eat all meats sitting at the table (not in front of the TV) and use my dishes, silverware, etc. (so nice to not eat off a wrapper!).

I drink 100 oz. of water a day (and pee myself silly).

Every night, I plan what I'll be eating the next day and then just follow that plan. I weigh and measure everything I eat.

I'm down about 2 sizes in jeans but can't really find any that fit right now so I bought a new, smaller belt {stupid smaller waist with bigger butt!}.

I cut my knee shaving the other day because I'm not used to the smaller surface area. ;)

I rock. :D

Deprivation 2

I can see that any choice in my life leaves me "deprived".

Choosing to not have children deprives me of buying cute, tiny clothes and watching them grow up and the kind of love that only people with children know. But having children would deprive me of sleeping in, freedom to do what I want, when I want, etc.

I think it's the same with anything. Being married, jobs, etc.

When I choose one thing, I'm also choosing to not have the opposite - aka: there are pros and cons to everything.

So far, not having cake is less of a con than a smaller ass.

So far. ;)