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For a good part of my life, I've walked around wondering what people are thinking of me. And to be honest, I haven't been "wondering". I've been telling myself what people are thinking - and it's usually never something positive. And maybe they are actually thinking whatever terrible things I think they're thinking.
But right now I'm thinking more about the good things people think. These "people" could be complete strangers, your closest friends and family and everyone in between too.
I wonder how many times we think a good thought about someone and not share it with them? I know it can be really akward to share a good thought with a stranger, "I love your hair, dress, smile, eyes, etc." I remember my husband telling a woman that he liked her dress and she seemed to react as if he was trying to pick up on her.
But what about the people we love the most? Are we telling them? And I mean really telling them? The kind of stuff that people stand up and say at a funeral. The things that you whisper to someone on their deathbed.
My brother Michael died in November last year. Evidently, he'd been carrying around a deep pink tourmaline stone for 15 years. I received it for my 40th birthday last week. Michael gave it to our brother Bobby when Bobby was there about a month before Michael died. Bobby sent it to me with a card that read, "in his last days he made it a point to get it to you! What a smile on his face as he made me promise to get it to you! He sure loved you, sis."
I know he loved me. And while I am grateful to have this now and will forever cherish it. I wish I had known when he was here. I also wish I had shared with him earlier what I ended up telling him as he slipped in and out of consciousness in November.
Don't wait another second. We don't have that kind of time.
Make time. Share your good, secret thoughts.
Risk.
Love and be loved.
7 comments:
(((Trisha))) I know I told you on your birthday video, but you guys are two of our favorite people, and we're glad you moved to Oregon. We're lucky we got the chance to know you. :)
If only you knew how often I think of you (often! with much love!). I agree with you - we should speak our love whenever we think it.
LOVE! YOU!
T
My brain: "Here comes that awesome lady Trisha again. Wonder what type of fun we'll be having this time." :p
Why does my brain sound like a silly Stephen Wright?
I have realized lately that I have a voice in my head that not only thinks people don't like me or whatever but that is also telling me they are conspiring against me.
I mean really.
it's been interesting digging into where that came from.
so this post was totally what I needed to read.
i discovered your site when you had the "say anything" post. i was surprise to find a kindred peer speaking to matters that my heart recognised. you don't post as often as i'd like you to, but i am so glad when you do . you are a beautiful woman (from your photo).you could wear flowers in your hair all the time. you seemed real when my journey to begin blogging was oh so very daunting.
i am sorry for your loss.
thank you for being boffo panda.
Crissy ~ we are the lucky ones! We love you and Mike!
Tracy ~ I think of you often too. And love you too! We have a lot in common, no? :)
Rebecca ~ I like your brain and the rest of you too! :)
My brain: "Here comes
Brandi ~ I have that voice too. Sometimes I remember to do what SARK recommends...give those inner critics/voices a job to do. I made my jump rope for an entire day. Not exactly a "job" but it keep them busy and it actually worked! xo
danasparkle ~ thank you for your kind words, kindred spirit. :)
this just made me smile - and cry - with the love of your brother thinking ahead... man that is big... i have just been thinking (out loud - awaiting your approval {rolls eyes}) saying what is our truth is powerful beyond words
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